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Elsa Wrench

Monday, June 9, 2014
When I heard the buzz, I felt a sourness rise up in my throat and threaten to choke me.
Monday, June 2, 2014
This is terrible news. I have been spelling my name incorrectly all my life. It is not Elsa. It should be Alesyah. Or possibly Eylehsya. How about Illsahah?
Monday, May 26, 2014
I went to a high school where monitors would use a ruler to measure the length of our hems (no more than two inches above the knee).
Monday, May 19, 2014
What fools we have been.
Sunday, May 11, 2014
What’s black and white and chic all over? Me and everyone else on the Fab List, of course.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Some people cannot take no for an answer. They don’t know when to stop and they never take a hint.
Monday, April 28, 2014
“Don’t do it, Hal,’’ I pleaded. “That is an assault,’’ I continued, “on a defenceless victim who will get back at you one day.’’
Monday, April 21, 2014
Who killed King Joffrey? Not since the shooting of JR Ewing has a crime had so many suspects.
Monday, April 14, 2014
The editor-in-chief of this paper has proceeded on vacation leave without first telling me, asking my permission, or so much as kissing my ring.
Monday, March 31, 2014
“So what do you think of my new diet plan?’’ asked my friend Emme. You know the one—the glamazon who lets the rest of us live in her world.

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