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Crouching Badjohns, Hidden Tiger Balm

Friday, January 31, 2014

Trinidad stopped pretending and actually became Hollywood this week, combining Clint Eastwood/Sergio Leone with Jet Li/Chow Yun-Fat, and turning 3.10 to Yuma and Hero into an ordinary weeknight burglary. And vice versa. The Wild West levels of crime that had the murder rate leap from zero to 19 in the year’s first week transmogrified into a gen-you-wine Hollywood Western last Tuesday night, y’all, with gunslingers in black—or at least black gunslingers—scaling building roofs a la Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, with cases of orange juice on their backs, and Tec-9s in their waistbands. And then, yes, there was an actual gunfight between bandits and security guards, the outlaws and the posse, at the Citrus Growers Association warehouses at 1 pm on Tuesday afternoon, an almost-high-noon shootout at the CGA Corral! 


And that was the sequel! Tuesday’s shootout only happened because, in Part I, the criminals had broken in the night before! They only returned on Tuesday-day to get the loot they’d left behind on Monday-night and just weren’t prepared to give up their almost-newly-acquired property without a (gun)fight. The bandits reportedly opened fire from their higher vantage point on the roof—a trick they might have learned from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The Wild Bunch or either version of 3.10 to Yuma—and, from their superior cover, and, presumably, using superior firepower, kept the security guards pinned down on the ground for five minutes until the first wave of police arrived, when the bandits deigned to leave the roof without the juice. It must have been a hard decision for the badmen but they must have known, from CSI and Law and Order, that the police would “call for backup.”


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