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I’m going batty for a good cause

Published: 
Monday, October 6, 2014
Sachin Tendulkar, left, has signed a bat that his good friend Brian Lara will auction for the Children’s Ark on October 16 at the Hyatt.

Clink. Clink. Clink-clink! That is the sound of me emptying my piggy bank. It will be worth it too. Because what I am going to buy in two weeks will be worth more than anything I possess, except possibly my new designer spectacles without which I can’t see a purple elephant six inches from my nose.

The object of my desire is about three feet long, made of wood, and belongs to one of the most famous men on the planet.

Whatever you are thinking, you can stop because the reality is much more exciting.

Brian Lara, cricketing legend, is providing one of his bats for auction. And it is signed by Brian himself, as well as Sachin Tendulkar and Steve Waugh.

And I am also bidding on another bat autographed by another hero of the West Indies—Sir Garfield Sobers. The Barbadian legend is coming to Trinidad on October 16, to the Hyatt, on the invitation of my favourite charitable organisation, the Children’s Ark.

The Ark is my fave non-profit because it is run by some pretty nice people who do not spend a penny of the money collected. They have no office, no secretary and so no overheads. They get up at 4 am to do the paperwork and plan fund-raisers, although they hold down full-time jobs. They run a very tight ship. 

Plus, I saw the president Simone de la Bastide riding a horse in Tobago the other day and she didn’t fall off, so I took that as a sign that the Fates are on her side.

The cricket bats are going to be sold by silent auction, which means there will be no scary shouting and waving of paddles and pounding of the auctioneer’s hammer. People will write their bids and mine will be the highest and I will dance away with at least one of the collector’s items, which is bound to quadruple in value as times goes by.

If any corporate leaders out there intend to get those bats for their prized collections, they will have to bound and gag me first, and then throw me into a dungeon.

But I do love a good fight. All you banks and insurance companies, and oil and gas giants are welcome to try and knock me out with your chequebooks. I have resources of my own. The For Sale sign is up outside my house—who needs a roof over her head when she can grab this once-in-a-lifetime chance to own a piece of world history?

Brian Lara himself will attend the Children’s Ark’s business/sports luncheon, called Batting for Children. The audience will have an opportunity to ask questions of the cricketing stars. 

Oh, did I mention Daren “McDreamy’’ Ganga will also be there? 

Can this story get any better? 

Tickets to the event cost $500 each. Vocalist Wendy Sheppard will perform. 

Save the date. October 16 is going to be the new watershed in shopping history. 

It is the day Elsa will finally have it all.

• Elsa can tell you more about the Children’s Ark if you e-mail her at [email protected] 

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