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Why we co-sleep
The research on whether children should sleep with you or not isn’t conclusive one way or the other, so many times when people reach out to me for advice in this area I state exactly that.
My personal belief is to co-sleep.
I believe that the same desires we have children have, and having a warm body with which to snuggle at night is no different.
On my website, I once wrote a blog about the midnight conversations I have with Jess. I turn, pull her close and tell her just how much I love her. I stroke her hair and fill her resting mind with positive affirmations.
Many nights she pulls me close and does the same.
As a single mother, I heard all the time from well-wishers how dangerous that would be when it was time to replace her with a man in my bed, but I guess I always knew that any man deserving of walking down the aisle with, would be just fine with her sleeping in our bed.
Keeping your marriage spicy takes work and creativity and yes, it takes energy. I actually think co-sleeping adds to the spice. Ever tried having sex in your own car in your own parked garage? What about the shower or on the seat of the toilet? Throw a mat down in the kids’ room, if they are in yours, it means their room is empty.
Sticking to the bed at night is kind of boring actually and the fun of sneaking around helps keep things exciting.
There is also a wonderful opportunity to teach compromise and of course, everyone knows that I believe in leading by example, so if the kids have to compromise that means we have to compromise.
One night for us, one night for you.
We can split up the week and interchange the days you sleep alone and the days you sleep with us.
Co-sleeping does not undermine the authority structure of the home because this is still a purposeful decision.
The child is in no way controlling things and this also does not mean the child is the center of the home (which leads to unhealthy entitlement).
It simply means we share night time affection and all the benefits that physical touch brings.
Here’s to a spice-filled week surrounded by loads of hugs and cuddles.
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