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Life and Times of the QPS
Eh heh. Well is a week now ah running. Ah miss ah three days but ah start back yesterday, so ah on track. Hear nah, ah feel for de next four weeks, ah go dedicate de column to what ah see around de Savannah. Ah go call it de QPS Chronicles. Or Life and Times of the QPS. What allyuh tink? So fuss day ah de year (ok second), ah buss out in meh new tights and sneakers (or trainers as they say in the UK) It was little quiet but it had people. All shapes and sizes. Who walking, who running, who stopping at the bench to do whatever exercise it is dey doing. After day three, ah get in meh groove and ah running three laps.
Ok running and walking. More walking. Gosh, ah cyan lie to allyuh eh! Steups. By de next week, oh gad oye! People like ants! Like is Carnival self round de Savannah. De fit gyal dem dey, doing ah last ting before Monday and Tuesday. Dey come out in dey tights or dey shorts, looking bess. De stride on point. Pony tails swishing around like Fitness Barbie. Of course, de fat gyal dem not impressed. Firstly, ah muss give the overweights a big A plus for effort eh. Firstly, it not easy to be overweight and run. Running with cargo is never fun. And secondly, to do so in such an open place where everyone could see ya not easy either.
But they keep plodding along and it makes me smile because with the right level of determination, by next year so, dem too go be running de QPS in ah short pants making de fatties of 2K14 roll dey eye. What about de couples who QPSin’ together? Ah feel ah coin ah term dey eh! I eh go charge yuh fuh usin’ it but at least say is me say it fuss. Leh we try it in ah sentence. “Yeah well ah cyan talk cause I QPSin’ fuh de next hour dey. We go link up!” Wha allyuh say? It win? I digress. So yeah, de couples. I have actually seen couples walking, in fitness gear, holding hands. Now I know they not just taking a romantic stroll. That is come out dey come out to exercise.
But wha dey holding hands for? Steups. Well I have a few theories. Most of the couples I’ve seen aren’t equal and this is not a gender evaluation but rather a size evaluation. Is eider de man fat and de woman fit or de other way around. Now ah have to digress again. These mismatched couples made me wonder, is it that said man or woman got together with ah fattie (an English term by the way!) and then began a makeover of sorts, like a project?
Or were both parties slim and sexy and someone just had more pizza than the other on movie night? Either way I find it bewildering. And if my opinion it makes me sound shallow, well sorry. I’d rather be shallow than fat thanks. Me? I cannot be with nobody who fitter and skinnier than me. Especially now that I am back in Trini. So wha?! We go to de beach and when you disrobe is abs and ting and I hadda bathe in ah jersey cause ah so fat and shame to even prance around in ah bathsuit?! Negative.
I have shame thanks! But aye aye, de couple observation got even worse. I see ah man and he woman start running. My boy looking swanky in he fitness gear. Arm band for he iPhone for he tunes. He know what he doing. De woman, not so much. Like she muss be real tell him she could handle she stories eh. I could picture it now. “Baby, I eh go keep yuh back. Wham only you could be skinny or wha? Leh meh come and run wit yuh nah.” He replies, “Is everything I do yuh hadda be so? Steups. Ah giving yuh one week and if yuh keep meh back, yuh go hadda get ah treadmill or something. Ah tyad tell yuh tuh cut out de three doubles yuh want to eat every morning.
I see dat belly grow wit meh own two eye!” Well, I eh have to tell allyuh that he muss be run for two minutes before she stop and start to do stretches. And ah see she stretching before de run eh. What yuh hadda stretch so? De man of course stop and start to tap he foot. She start again and then she stop. He stop again. By de third time, he buss it and leave she. Oh gad! These next few weeks go be fun. I have so many stories to share from de QPSin eh! I might have to get ah disguise with all dis talk though. People might come and find me running and start to pelt meh with pizza or something. Ah gone. You can follow Michelle on Twitter at @mimieng77.
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