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Mother knows best

Monday, May 7, 2018

Mother and daughter relationships, like all others, can fluctuate over the years. Some mothers and daughters continue to have a good relationship throughout their lives, some separate and come back together, and some relationships remain strained or non-existent.

Tameeka Castillo said the relationship between her and her mother, Allison John, had become strained over the years and it was not until Castillo herself became a mother that she realised what sacrifices her mother had made.

It was this that led her to the decision to write a tribute piece to her mother, to show her how important she is.

In it she said: “Throughout my years I have seen my mother at her best and at her worst, but I have never seen her give up. Giving up was easy! And, honestly her journey was not.

“I questioned many things she did and did not do. I became angry by things she said and did not say.

“My expired innocence once blocked my understanding from knowing that the things my mother dealt with was her way of protecting me. She traded her happiness for my peace of mind while slowly denying herself self-growth.”

Castillo said she took a second look at the relationship between her and her mother and realised how wrong she had been.

“Truth be told my mother was and still is strong. Even when she freed herself from her marriage my bitter misunderstandings and my heavy clouds of guilt kept her in bondage. Unfortunately, I blamed her for everything when I should have taken responsibility for my selfish actions.

“I disrupted our mother-daughter relationship by being unsupportive to her needs and emotions. For the period my mom and I grew apart, I am thankful for it. I came to my senses when I found myself broken by life and the decisions I made.

“But time allowed me the realisation of knowing that parts of her were growing inside of me. Life directed me to my new energy source, my mother.”

Castillo said it was important that the parent child relationship remain stable, because “it’s not all the time that things will remain good between both parties, but I believe that once a proper foundation is set, there would always be a steadiness in the relationship.”

She said if she had one wish, it would be for her to have the strength of her mother.

“This woman gave me life, twice. She renewed my understanding of a mother’s love and fills me up without her knowing.

“If ever I can be guaranteed one wish, I’ll wish for her strength. Her mental strength is withstanding. She is one of the flowers in my garden that keeps blooming.

“She dances to the direction of the winds but is never blown away by its forces.

“She may not always be at her best but everything she does is with good intent.

“My heart smiles when I think of her. But with words being all that I rightfully own, I apologize to the woman who has presently become my life size superhero.”

For the full text of Castillo’s tribute, go to


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